week 9 picks- The Smell from the backseat was sumthin awful."

Dickie Dunn here.
Remember when the Griswold's hijacked Wally World or got busted? Roy Wally and Clark were talking about that trip to FL ? Roy curled his nose up at the thought of the smell coming from the back seat? I bet the backseat of that station wagon had nothing on the Saints locker room on drug testing day. What'd they have 3 guys busted for taking banned diuretics? My God. I'm getting woozy just thinkin about it. I took my lunch to work one time and forgot the tupperware container in my backseat for a week afterwards. I imagine the smell of cracking that baby open was comparable. Even Grady Jackson got busted. He got busted for performance enhancers. must have been in training to take on Joey Chestnutt at Nathan's next year. Is nothing Sacred?

Onto the picks...


Jacksonville - 8 over Cinci.

You could probably double this line and I'd still take the Jags. Cinci looks awful. I had Chris Perry in my fantasy league and dropped him after week 3. Actually that's not true I traded him, straight up for a box of old partially used rolls of athletic tape and a cassette tape of ZZ Top Eliminator. I stand by my decision.


St Louis +3 over Ariz.

Jim Haslett has the boys playing pretty well over the last few weeks. It's like Lou Brown said in Major League, "the veterans are starting to play back to form and the rookies are coming along faster than expected" Let's just hope they don't have a picture of a half naked Linehan in the locker room.

Ten -4 1/2 over Green Bay

I think the Titans are for real. Who knew Vince Young was the problem. I mean his stats were bad but they'd win right? At least that's what Vince's agent is saying. It's hard to say what career path VY's going to take. I mean is he the next Mike Vick? or Akili Smith?

* Editor's note, Dickie is referring to Mr Vick's play on the field and not his legal trouble. He's not implying in any way that Vince Young is involved in illegal dog fighting or anything of the sort.

Den - 3 1/2 over Miami.


No way the Broncos lose at home after two weeks off. Double edge sword for me here because Broncos fan always starts talking Super Bowl after every win so I guess I'm gonna have to hear it this week. As long as Jay Cutler can keep his Diabetes in check the Donkeys should win this one.



Dallas +8 1/2 over NYG.

No way Dallas should even be able to compete. The G-men should have too much on either side of the ball. BUT, 8 1/2 is a lot of points in an NFC East match up. and besides isn't Wade Phillips coaching for his job this week after the ole' kiss of death vote of confidence from Jerry Jones? That's like the death knell of any coach. I mean Hitler gave Poland's leaders a vote of confidence saying he wouldn't invade their country on Aug 23, 1939. Guess what happened one week later? Hitler invaded Poland. Let's just say Wade might want to start winning some games....soon


Pats +6 1/2 over the Colts

this game would be sweet if it was 2002. This game reminds of Evander Holyfield, he still looks like he can fight but man he doesn't slip the jab like he used to. Let's hope these guy can channel Toby Keith. "Not as good as they once was, but as good once as they ever were." Let's just hope no one gets hurt in this one.

Philly - 6 1/2 over Seattle.

You never know which Philly team is gonna show up. But I'm pretty sure you always know which Seattle team your getting week in and week out. Let's just say it ain't the '84 Niners. Take the Eagles in "party never stops" for Philly fans.



Other games I didn't expound upon.


Texans +4 1/2 over Minny
TB -9 over KC
Cle - 1 1/2 over Balt.
Chi - 12 1/2 over Det
Atl -3 over Oak
Skins - 2 1/2 over Pitt


Hopefully we get some pick from Wally this week, he's been out of town watching his ex-wifes schnauzer. Don't laugh it's a f(*kin show dog with f&*kin papers you don't board show dogs Dude. Dickie out.


If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it's gotta be true.

Week 8 NFL Picks---Hazardous Helmets and more.

Dickie Dunn here, with some week 8 picks for you. Per my customary routine, I’m going to ramble a bit before getting into this weeks picks. What did we learn from last week? We learned Buffalo could be legit, The Jets aren’t, and the Patriots can still play a little if you let them run the ball all day. Coincidentally that game unfolded exactly like I said it would which according to my stats makes me approx 1 out of 108 in correctly predicting how an NFL game will unfold. Not good I know but I still think I have better numbers than Boomer Esiason, Cris Carter, and Howie Long combined. And just think odds are you’ll only have to wait two months for me to do it again. Try to think of it as a Christmas present.
I know ESPN has tackled this subject already but I wanted to weigh in with my thoughts the marked increase in helmets flying off of players head’s this year. IT seems like it happens multiple times a game nowadays. Understand this, players in the NFL wear almost no padding these days other than shoulder pads and helmets. I seriously don’t think I’ve seen hip pads in 15 years. They do this to get faster obviously, and wants to let a little thing like having a ruptured spleen get in the way of speed. In High School and College, these pads are required. Safety being a little higher on the priority list at those levels. It appears the only thing required in the NFL is a helmet and shoulder pads. So to attempt a quick recap, you’ve got some of the biggest fastest athletes in the world colliding play after play with little or no padding? Ouch. Back to the Helmet issue. Many helmets have multiple snaps on either side of their chin straps. One on each temple and the other back by the player’s ear. You take a helmet off by snapping off the two by your ear and pulling the helmet off., and then reversing the action once you put it back on. Here’s the problem, owing to the fact that the chin strap is still supported by the two temple snaps, at times you can put the helmet on and feel it tight against your chin. So it can feel like it’s on when in reality it’s not. Not a huge problem if you’re standing on the sidelines checking out the cute blonde in section 128. But if you’re running into a ball carrier at 30 knots closure speed, you might want those extra buckles snapped up. So until they design a helmet with a different chin strap design, this will continue. Oh yeah, and having long hair under your helmet isn’t so good either. It not only compromises the overall fit of the helmet, it makes it more likely to come off. It’s only a matter of time until Steven Jackson (Rams), Tory Polamalu (Steelers) or the Cowboys’ Marion Barber breaks their nose from a vicious hit to the face.

Onto the picks….


RAVENS -7 over the RAIDERS


Another West coast team heading east and playing the early slot. You just know AL Davis ain’t springing for the Waterfront Marriott. With his Budget constraints, it’s looking more like the Pikesville Howard Johnson. Not good times, take the Ravens lay the 7.


BILLS -1 over MIAMI

The AFC East leading Bills head for warmer weather to take on the Dolphins. That’s right, AFC East leaders….letting it sink in. Back with me? Miami can’t seem to figure itself out just yet. Pack some sunscreen and take the Bills.

FALCONS +9.5 over EAGLES.

No one starts faster then the Eagles then fades in the second half. It’s like Any Reid turns into Fielding Yost after scoring a couple of TD’s. (Coach Yost used to punt on second or Third down as a defensive tactic. Needless to say the game has changed a little.) I think the Eagles win but it should be close.


RAMS +7.5 over PATRIOTS

Are the Rams that good or are the Cowboys that bad? The Redskins game?, you could say the skins kind of handed that game to em with all the turnovers. But Dallas? That game was painful to watch ever for guys with fantasy points on the line in that game. So I guess I’ll take those 7.5 points and pray. Besides who’s running the ball for New England? No Maroney, Lamont Jordan is banged and Sammy Morris is nursing a sore quad. So does that mean we’ve got Kevin Faulk and BenJarvis Green-Ellis carrying the rock for the Pats? Scary.


REDSKINS -7.5 over LIONS

The last time the Lions beat the Redskins Harry Truman was president and Night Train Lane was the quarterback for the Lions. I wonder if he’s available for this game. Take the ‘skins.


TEXANS -9 over BENGALS

This is the rescheduled Hurricane IKE game. I’m not sure how big this line would have to be to take the Bengals but its def. bigger than this. Good to see Marvin Lewis has that team headed in the right direction. Think Sam Wyche would be willing to come out of retirement?


Other Picks not worthy of special mention

SDC -3
NYJ – 13.5
DAL -2
CAR -4
JAX -7
NYG +3
SFX -5
TEN -4

Week 7 Picks- Pinkie Watch Hour 120.

Dickie Dunn here, Before you get all riled up, and complain about no week 6 picks let's get a few things straight. One, I have a day job. Two, that day job involves the stock market. Yes, THAT stock market. And Three, my wife gave birth to our second daughter last week. Needless to say I’ve been a bit busy. You can even throw in a fourth disclaimer, owing to excuses two and three, my picks probably would’ve stunk, well, stunk worse than usual. So let’s just pretend I went 50/50 last week and all you’re out is the juice. We cool G?


Ok onto Antonio Ramiro Romo’s pinkie. Look, playing with any injury hurts, and if he guts it out, kudos to him. Let’s just hope he doesn’t do any nerve damage to the thing ala Anthony Munoz’s pinkie, have you seen that thing? Talk about ugly appendages, I haven’t seen something that nasty hanging off a person since Bruce Campbell battled the Army of Darkness and evil Bruce popped out of his shoulder.
It’s one thing to battle it out in the trenches with the pinkie taped to your ring finger, it’s quite another to be asked to throw a football. Oh yeah, throw it accurately and with velocity. In case you were wondering, Anthony Munoz is the guy on the right in the above picture. Let just hope Tony Romo knows a better surgeon than Mr. Munoz.



Onto the picks.


TEN -9 vs KC

You think it was a little awkward in the locker room after Tony Gonzalez didn’t get traded this week? Was it a bit like Andy Duphrene walking back into the yard after a date with the sisters? Quick story, we had a broker who worked in our office back about ten years ago. He was fairly new to the business and wasn’t doing very well, one day he wore a yellow shirt under his dress shirt and got heckled pretty bad for it. So he decides to quit, as he walks out of the office, we can see him get into his car to drive away, only his car wouldn’t start, So he has to get out and walk home, while we watched him from the window, now that was awkward. I’m not saying Tony Gonzalez walking back into that locker room was quite that awkward, but it might’ve been close. Take the Titans.


NYG -10.5 vs SFO


If we’ve learned one thing about the NFL it’s that it’s hard to go east and play the early game. Something tells me the Giants are going to be a little upset about the Browns debacle last week and take it out on JT O’Sullivan. Not good times for the Niners. Take the G Men.



HOU -9 vs. DET

As bad as the Lions have been at home, they’ve been worse on the road. Let’s just say if you’re Matt Millen and the mayors of Minneapolis, Green Bay and Chicago all offered to give you a key to the city, you haven’t done a great job as a GM. Take the Texans.

WAS – 7.5 vs. CLE

Which of these teams is for real? The Redskins go out and beat the Cowboys and Eagles on the road then lose to the Rams? Cleveland stinks up the joint for 5 weeks, while simultaneously killing fantasy teams across the country. Has there ever been more fantasy team killers on one team? They’re like the bizarro 2004 Colts. I’ll take the Browns and those 7.5 pts but I don’t feel great about it.

NEP -3 vs DEN

On paper the Broncos should walk in this game, they have the better offense, and should be able to shut down Randy Moss with Champ Bailey. But can the Broncos stop the run? This feels like one of those classic Belichek games where Sammy Morris has 45 carries and they dominate time of possession something like 39min to 21min. I’ll take the Pats, plenty of good karma going through Beantown lately. I mean if the Sox can come back from down 7-0 in the seventh to the Rays. Anything can happen, take the Pats.

Other Picks

San Diego + 2 at the Bills
Pitt -9.5 at the Bengals
Miami -3 vs. Baltimore
Dallas minus whatever vs. Rams
Chi -3 vs. the VIkes
Saints +3 at Carolina
Jets -3 at OAK
Colts -1.5 at GBP
Tampa -10.5 vs. SEA


BONUS PICK

Penn State – 55 vs Michigan*

I haven’t seen a Michigan team this bad since the Fab 5 got the entire basketball program put on probation in the 90’s, yeah that’s right I had to find a different sport to equate the proper sucktitude. This might be the worse Michigan team since the forward lateral was legalized, although we did finish 0-3 in 1881 after humbling losses to Harvard, Yale and Princeton. The Wolverines scored a total of 4 pts that year. ( eerily similar to this year)
So the lone bright spot of 1881 was two safeties. Things will get better, and with a bedrock coach like Rich Rodriguez running the program you know he’s going to see this through. No way he’d leave the program and abandon his players…. No way.

Until next week when we get investigative report on tailgating in the Big Ten from Wally Solbchak. -Dickie


* line approximate


If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it’s gotta be true.

Week 5 Picks are here- Taste the Cold !!

Dickie Dunn here, I'd first like to start off by remembering my old friend Reginald Arthur Dunlop or Reg' to his friends. Reg passed away this week after a protracted battle with cancer. Reg and I go back all the way to his days in the Federal League when he the player coach with the Charlestown Chiefs. Reg was always a good interview. He'd even let you in on a rumor or two once he got to know you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me telling you he did ok with the ladies, including a figure skater or two. Nobody got more out of his players, one if his left wingers, Carlson I think his name was, even punched a guy out when he thought he called Reg' old. My memory is hazy but I think the guy's name was Barclay Donaldson. Reg' wasn't above calling out his owner or GM if he thought they were not looking out for the best interests of the team. Can anyone say Jack Robinson? Needless to say they don't make 'em like Reg Dunlop anymore. Now he's gone to the big locker room in the sky, where I'm sure he's organizing a card game and watching his favorite Soap opera.
RIP Reg, you'll be missed.
Onto the wek 5 picks....

Who needs a win more than the Colts? This could be a kitchen sink game for them. Even if Payton's leg falls off. they have to win this game. They might even throw the ball to Marvin harrison. take the Colts, lay the 3.

So let me get this straight. Miami wins a game against a crippled Patriots team and all of a sudden they can beat the San Diego Chargers? Sure the Chargers D defends the way the French Army did against Germany's Panzers in WWII but still. Aren't the Chargers going to score 45 this game? Take the Panzers... SDC - 6.5

The Bears play at Detroit and are laying 3.5. There's some potentail "dinn dong the witch is dead" mojo here. But sooner or later I think the Leos with realize they still stink. take the bears.

I think you have to take the Broncos at altitude agains the Bucs this weekend. Although it seems every week we're getting a Brian Griese revenge game. How many teams have given up on him? In a related note if you ever wanted to buy an ex Michigan QB a beer. You might want to hang out in the LoDo area of Denver Sat night, chances are good you'll see him there is all I'm saying.


My other picks- Titans -3, Carolina -9.5, Philly -6, GBP -5, Giants -7, niners +3, Buffalo +1, Dal -17, Jax -4, and Saints -3.

There you have it, until next week


Dickie Dunn

"If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it's gotta be true!"