Making picks with two broken thumbs.
Dickie Dunn here, Here’s a quick joke for you. A degenerate gambler is going over the basketball lines with his bookie. Now the bookie almost feels bad for the guy since the degenerate has lost 14 basketball bets in a row. So he throws the guy a bone and says, “Hey you wanna know tonight’s Hockey lines?” “naah” says the bettor, “I don’t know anything about betting on Hockey.”….ouch, that smarts Now my picks for last week weren’t quite that bad, but they were close. Tread carefully and let’s hope you still have your house at the end of this week. In looking back on last week here’s a few mistakes I made. Tampa Bay sucks on the road, Buffalo just plain sucks and Houston really sucks. Detroit is one of those team just good enough to cover if the line gets too big, but not too actually win a game, and Dallas is so dysfunctional that only the ongoing Raiders debacle allows the Cowboys to keep under the radar. In fact even the Raiders can’t even be trusted to tank a season properly. In fact I haven’t seen a group this poorly led since Ken Lay was calling the shots at ENRON. It’s a good thing Al Davis isn’t alive to see what’s become of his Raiders.
Onto the picks. ( hang on to your c)*ks. )
Thursday Night special.
DEN +3 @ CLE
There’s nothing quite like a spotlight game to make your regular season debut. Brady Quinn goes under the lights to host the Broncos tonight and even though the Broncos play defense like they a plane to catch, they should be able to confuse him enough to eek one out.
TEN -3 @ CHI
The Titans are undefeated at 8-0. This feels like a 16-7 slug fest. Kind of like in Michael Jackson’s “Beat it” video where they tied the two guys hands together and they had a knife fight….except without all the gay undertones. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying is all.
GBP +2.5 @ MIN
Let’s just say they’ll be a lot of brats consumed by people in red paid flannel this game. Although it is deer season so maybe the crowds will be a little lighter than usual. Everyone from Brainerd to Wausau will be watching this game. Well, assuming they have a TV at deer camp that is.
KC +15.5 @ SDC
Even Herm Edwards should be able to cover this spread. It’s not like the Chargers make any effort on defense. My buddy coaches a Pop Warner team and I bet they could run the ball on these guys. Let’s hope Herm realizes this fact. I mean assuming he hasn’t cleared out his office yet.
NYG -3 @ PHI
Dirty Harry said it best when he said “A man’s got to know his limitations”. I think Philly is a legit team then can win a lot of games but they have one fatal flaw. It’s that they never put teams away. It’s like the play calling gets way conservative when they get a lead. All of a sudden it Westbrook left, Westbrook right. QB draw. Punt. Playing not to lose is never a good recipe for success in the NFL. The Giants are one of those teams that can get up off the mat if they get knocked down. Let’s hope Philly remembers that this week, well not this week since I took the G-men minus the 3, but soon. Yeah soon is good.
Other game not worth writing about
NEP -4 over BUF
ATL – 1.5 over NOS
STL +9 over NYJ
MIA – 8.5 over SEA
JAC -6.5 over DET
OAK +9.5 over CAR
PIT minus whatever over IND
ARI – 9.5 over SFX
BAL -1 over HOU.
Those are the picks for this week. Maybe we’ll have a Wally Sobchak sighting this week. Vegas has the odds of him getting a post in this week at +150. Not looking good. Word on the street is, he had to go see the commissioner about violating the blog’s personal conduct policy and he’s going to serve a 3 week suspension. Tough break for Wally.
D.D.
If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it’s gotta be true,
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