Week 13 Picks- Wed Special

Dickie Dunn here to handicap the three Thanksgiving day games for you. But first, some food for thought to help you decide on strategy for bingefest that is Thanksgiving. Don't load up on Mashed Potatoes or Stuffing. They are integral parts of your plate to be sure but best kept in a supporting role. Similar to Vince Vaughn. Save plenty of room for your Turkey, always grab an extra piece of white meat you can snack on while you're waiting for the rest of the goodies to come around the table. Keep an eye out for that special dish that someone makes only for the Turkey day occasion. At the house we're going to it's the sweet potatoes. But keep an eye out for mac and cheese. or hash brown casserole. I don't know exactly what that dish will be at your place but, you will and that's the point. Focus on the 6 or 7 things you know you'll like. Don't try to sample every item in the inventory you'll get too full too fast and won't truely enjoy the things that you like best. Last two things, any guy worth his salt can handle seconds and save the desserts table for halftime of the second game just when you body is adjusting to being so full. Keep all this info in mind and you'll have a great Thanksgiving. With that, onto the picks.




TEN at DET (+11)

This pains me but, I gotta go with the Titans here. Detroit just sucks too bad. Maybe you can get away with a DET first half bet. If I'd known that the my experience watching the Lions would peak with Reggie Ball and Mel Gray Jr. I would've paid closer attention in the early 90's.


SEA at DAL ( -12.5)


Lots of points here but I think the 'boys cover this one. How excited is Seattle to play in this game? on a scale of 1-10? I'd say about a 1.5, tops. Unless they're putting Leon Lett's jersey into ring of honor, take Dallas.


ARI at PHI ( -3)


It's never good to travel from the west coast to the east to play a game. and it's even worse to do it with a short week. Let's put this in perspective. The Cards played the late game on Sunday. Most teams usually get Monday off, then Tues, Wed to put in the game plan. Refine it on Thurs and Fri. Travel and/or do walkthrough on Sat. Play on Sunday. No off day on Monday. Tuesday to put in the game plan. Wednesday refine and travel. Thursday AM walkthrough, and play that night. Tight schedule to say the least. Not sure how they do it but I gotta take the Eagles. Unless they bench McNabb, then I took the Cards.


Have a Happy Holiday,
Dickie Dunn




If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it's gotta be true.

week 12 picks- with better Drinkability.

Dickie Dunn here,
There’s something missing this week. I’m usually all excited for the third Saturday in November. Fall has officially settled in, but winter is still hitting the snooze button. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and you can almost taste the Turkey and stuffing. But still, there’s something missing. Wait a minute! Isn’t it Michigan vs. Ohio State this weekend? That’s right, now I remember, the annual clash to see who gets to go to the Rose Bowl. Only this year a 3-8 Michigan team rolls into C-bus with it’s tail between it’s legs. Most UofM fans are just trying to get the season over with and look forward to Basketball?? no., Hockey?? nope., make that Women’s Gymnastics season. I can’t remember that last time one team was favored by 3 touchdowns in this game. Maybe Rico and the boys will look like a team one time this season and pull out a W, …..big maybe. Time will tell if Rick Rod is the guy for the Ann Arbor faithful, I’m inclined to press the reset button on this season and wait until he gets guys in there that fit his system. Prediction? OSU 38- Mich 10.


Onto the picks.

( I broke even last week, you’ll have to take my word for it as I was too busy to post. )


Thursday special

Take the Steelers to cover the 10.5. the Bengals only try hard against NFC East foes.



TENN -5 home against the JETS.

I think the Titans cover this one. I think Brett Favre throws a TAINT at the worst possible time and that’s how the Titans cover this one. Oh, and Chris Johnson and the guy who swallowed Lindale White combine to rush for over 200 yards.


DAL – 10.5 home against the Niners.

Lotta points to lay here but how can I take the Niners in any situation that doesn’t involve the Raiders or Rams. I think Romo gets the 'boys playing well enough to cover plus the good news about Adam Jones getting reinstated will really jumpstart the crowd. Kinda like when Reno Hightower came out wearing his white shoes in the second half of the big game against Bakersfield High. Well, except Reno was a washed up high school jock painting murals on vans for a living and Adam is a career malcontent with a penchant for strip clubs. Other than that, eerily similar.

Quick Side note: Is there a more inplausable movie that "The Best of Times" ? I played football in high school and of the 45 guys on my team, I have regular contact with two of them, I could probably tell you the wherabouts of maybe 3 more. Putting aside the idea of even getting this game off the ground, you mean to tell me that not only does Bakersfield get their starting twenty two together, They located the whole damn team? and all of them are in prime shape like they just finished 12 weeks at Parris Island. You gotta be kidding me. On the other hand it is Bakersfield, what else they got going on? It is the hometown of Buck Owens afterall.


Chi – 8.5 at StL.

The next time I take St Louis in anything. It’ll be on Jeopardy. As in, “I’ll take Crummy Football Teams for $ 200 Alex. What is St, Louis? I mean Chicago is inconsistent but at least they have a running game.

ATL -1 home against CAR.

One of two things is happening here. Either John Fox is trying to bring back the "three yards and a cloud dust” era or Jake Delhomme’s elbow isn't feeling all that great right now. Take a look at Jake’s stats the last few weeks and tell me he’s not hurt. Of course it could be that he sucks, in which case I need to drop him off my fantasy team. I wonder if Brady Quinn is still available. Take the Falcons.

Den – 9.5 home against OAK.

The worst thing that could have happened to the Broncos is playing the Raiders week one, they totally thought they were better then they were and it cost em. Losing 10 different running backs to injury probably hurt too I suppose. Now that they’ve won two in a row I’m going to have to start hearing Bronco fan making plans for Miami. Great.
Take the Broncos and pray for snow.

NYG -3 at ARI.

Something tells me AZ is gonna get slapped around a bit here. It’s like that scene in “Usual Suspects” where Kaiser Soze tells the cop. “… he showed those men of will what will really was.” Don’t get me wrong, I think AZ is good but the G-men are playing on a whole ‘nother level. There’s a little risk with the Kurt Warner revenge factor game. But, you’re only getting 3 points to go down that road. Lay the three and squeeze the cheeks.

Other games

CLE -3 over HOU (worst game of the year?)
BUF +3 over KC
NEP +1 over Miami
TAM – 8.5 over DET
BAL -1 over PHI
JAX – 2.5 over MIN
WAS -3.5 over SEA
IND +3 over SDC
GBP +2.5 over NOS. (in a Venison Etouffe Battle. )


Wally Solbchak update:
We got a Ransom note from Wally's captors but our policy is we don't negotiate with Terrorists. They've lowered their demands to a couple of Broncos tickets and some AppleBees gift Certificates but rules are rules. Wally would've wanted it this way. Yes we can !!

Week 10 picks are here- Now with Ginko Baloba!!

Making picks with two broken thumbs.


Dickie Dunn here, Here’s a quick joke for you. A degenerate gambler is going over the basketball lines with his bookie. Now the bookie almost feels bad for the guy since the degenerate has lost 14 basketball bets in a row. So he throws the guy a bone and says, “Hey you wanna know tonight’s Hockey lines?” “naah” says the bettor, “I don’t know anything about betting on Hockey.”….ouch, that smarts Now my picks for last week weren’t quite that bad, but they were close. Tread carefully and let’s hope you still have your house at the end of this week. In looking back on last week here’s a few mistakes I made. Tampa Bay sucks on the road, Buffalo just plain sucks and Houston really sucks. Detroit is one of those team just good enough to cover if the line gets too big, but not too actually win a game, and Dallas is so dysfunctional that only the ongoing Raiders debacle allows the Cowboys to keep under the radar. In fact even the Raiders can’t even be trusted to tank a season properly. In fact I haven’t seen a group this poorly led since Ken Lay was calling the shots at ENRON. It’s a good thing Al Davis isn’t alive to see what’s become of his Raiders.

Onto the picks. ( hang on to your c)*ks. )

Thursday Night special.

DEN +3 @ CLE


There’s nothing quite like a spotlight game to make your regular season debut. Brady Quinn goes under the lights to host the Broncos tonight and even though the Broncos play defense like they a plane to catch, they should be able to confuse him enough to eek one out.

TEN -3 @ CHI

The Titans are undefeated at 8-0. This feels like a 16-7 slug fest. Kind of like in Michael Jackson’s “Beat it” video where they tied the two guys hands together and they had a knife fight….except without all the gay undertones. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying is all.

GBP +2.5 @ MIN

Let’s just say they’ll be a lot of brats consumed by people in red paid flannel this game. Although it is deer season so maybe the crowds will be a little lighter than usual. Everyone from Brainerd to Wausau will be watching this game. Well, assuming they have a TV at deer camp that is.

KC +15.5 @ SDC

Even Herm Edwards should be able to cover this spread. It’s not like the Chargers make any effort on defense. My buddy coaches a Pop Warner team and I bet they could run the ball on these guys. Let’s hope Herm realizes this fact. I mean assuming he hasn’t cleared out his office yet.

NYG -3 @ PHI

Dirty Harry said it best when he said “A man’s got to know his limitations”. I think Philly is a legit team then can win a lot of games but they have one fatal flaw. It’s that they never put teams away. It’s like the play calling gets way conservative when they get a lead. All of a sudden it Westbrook left, Westbrook right. QB draw. Punt. Playing not to lose is never a good recipe for success in the NFL. The Giants are one of those teams that can get up off the mat if they get knocked down. Let’s hope Philly remembers that this week, well not this week since I took the G-men minus the 3, but soon. Yeah soon is good.


Other game not worth writing about
NEP -4 over BUF
ATL – 1.5 over NOS
STL +9 over NYJ
MIA – 8.5 over SEA
JAC -6.5 over DET
OAK +9.5 over CAR
PIT minus whatever over IND
ARI – 9.5 over SFX
BAL -1 over HOU.


Those are the picks for this week. Maybe we’ll have a Wally Sobchak sighting this week. Vegas has the odds of him getting a post in this week at +150. Not looking good. Word on the street is, he had to go see the commissioner about violating the blog’s personal conduct policy and he’s going to serve a 3 week suspension. Tough break for Wally.
D.D.


If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it’s gotta be true,

week 9 picks- The Smell from the backseat was sumthin awful."

Dickie Dunn here.
Remember when the Griswold's hijacked Wally World or got busted? Roy Wally and Clark were talking about that trip to FL ? Roy curled his nose up at the thought of the smell coming from the back seat? I bet the backseat of that station wagon had nothing on the Saints locker room on drug testing day. What'd they have 3 guys busted for taking banned diuretics? My God. I'm getting woozy just thinkin about it. I took my lunch to work one time and forgot the tupperware container in my backseat for a week afterwards. I imagine the smell of cracking that baby open was comparable. Even Grady Jackson got busted. He got busted for performance enhancers. must have been in training to take on Joey Chestnutt at Nathan's next year. Is nothing Sacred?

Onto the picks...


Jacksonville - 8 over Cinci.

You could probably double this line and I'd still take the Jags. Cinci looks awful. I had Chris Perry in my fantasy league and dropped him after week 3. Actually that's not true I traded him, straight up for a box of old partially used rolls of athletic tape and a cassette tape of ZZ Top Eliminator. I stand by my decision.


St Louis +3 over Ariz.

Jim Haslett has the boys playing pretty well over the last few weeks. It's like Lou Brown said in Major League, "the veterans are starting to play back to form and the rookies are coming along faster than expected" Let's just hope they don't have a picture of a half naked Linehan in the locker room.

Ten -4 1/2 over Green Bay

I think the Titans are for real. Who knew Vince Young was the problem. I mean his stats were bad but they'd win right? At least that's what Vince's agent is saying. It's hard to say what career path VY's going to take. I mean is he the next Mike Vick? or Akili Smith?

* Editor's note, Dickie is referring to Mr Vick's play on the field and not his legal trouble. He's not implying in any way that Vince Young is involved in illegal dog fighting or anything of the sort.

Den - 3 1/2 over Miami.


No way the Broncos lose at home after two weeks off. Double edge sword for me here because Broncos fan always starts talking Super Bowl after every win so I guess I'm gonna have to hear it this week. As long as Jay Cutler can keep his Diabetes in check the Donkeys should win this one.



Dallas +8 1/2 over NYG.

No way Dallas should even be able to compete. The G-men should have too much on either side of the ball. BUT, 8 1/2 is a lot of points in an NFC East match up. and besides isn't Wade Phillips coaching for his job this week after the ole' kiss of death vote of confidence from Jerry Jones? That's like the death knell of any coach. I mean Hitler gave Poland's leaders a vote of confidence saying he wouldn't invade their country on Aug 23, 1939. Guess what happened one week later? Hitler invaded Poland. Let's just say Wade might want to start winning some games....soon


Pats +6 1/2 over the Colts

this game would be sweet if it was 2002. This game reminds of Evander Holyfield, he still looks like he can fight but man he doesn't slip the jab like he used to. Let's hope these guy can channel Toby Keith. "Not as good as they once was, but as good once as they ever were." Let's just hope no one gets hurt in this one.

Philly - 6 1/2 over Seattle.

You never know which Philly team is gonna show up. But I'm pretty sure you always know which Seattle team your getting week in and week out. Let's just say it ain't the '84 Niners. Take the Eagles in "party never stops" for Philly fans.



Other games I didn't expound upon.


Texans +4 1/2 over Minny
TB -9 over KC
Cle - 1 1/2 over Balt.
Chi - 12 1/2 over Det
Atl -3 over Oak
Skins - 2 1/2 over Pitt


Hopefully we get some pick from Wally this week, he's been out of town watching his ex-wifes schnauzer. Don't laugh it's a f(*kin show dog with f&*kin papers you don't board show dogs Dude. Dickie out.


If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it's gotta be true.

Week 8 NFL Picks---Hazardous Helmets and more.

Dickie Dunn here, with some week 8 picks for you. Per my customary routine, I’m going to ramble a bit before getting into this weeks picks. What did we learn from last week? We learned Buffalo could be legit, The Jets aren’t, and the Patriots can still play a little if you let them run the ball all day. Coincidentally that game unfolded exactly like I said it would which according to my stats makes me approx 1 out of 108 in correctly predicting how an NFL game will unfold. Not good I know but I still think I have better numbers than Boomer Esiason, Cris Carter, and Howie Long combined. And just think odds are you’ll only have to wait two months for me to do it again. Try to think of it as a Christmas present.
I know ESPN has tackled this subject already but I wanted to weigh in with my thoughts the marked increase in helmets flying off of players head’s this year. IT seems like it happens multiple times a game nowadays. Understand this, players in the NFL wear almost no padding these days other than shoulder pads and helmets. I seriously don’t think I’ve seen hip pads in 15 years. They do this to get faster obviously, and wants to let a little thing like having a ruptured spleen get in the way of speed. In High School and College, these pads are required. Safety being a little higher on the priority list at those levels. It appears the only thing required in the NFL is a helmet and shoulder pads. So to attempt a quick recap, you’ve got some of the biggest fastest athletes in the world colliding play after play with little or no padding? Ouch. Back to the Helmet issue. Many helmets have multiple snaps on either side of their chin straps. One on each temple and the other back by the player’s ear. You take a helmet off by snapping off the two by your ear and pulling the helmet off., and then reversing the action once you put it back on. Here’s the problem, owing to the fact that the chin strap is still supported by the two temple snaps, at times you can put the helmet on and feel it tight against your chin. So it can feel like it’s on when in reality it’s not. Not a huge problem if you’re standing on the sidelines checking out the cute blonde in section 128. But if you’re running into a ball carrier at 30 knots closure speed, you might want those extra buckles snapped up. So until they design a helmet with a different chin strap design, this will continue. Oh yeah, and having long hair under your helmet isn’t so good either. It not only compromises the overall fit of the helmet, it makes it more likely to come off. It’s only a matter of time until Steven Jackson (Rams), Tory Polamalu (Steelers) or the Cowboys’ Marion Barber breaks their nose from a vicious hit to the face.

Onto the picks….


RAVENS -7 over the RAIDERS


Another West coast team heading east and playing the early slot. You just know AL Davis ain’t springing for the Waterfront Marriott. With his Budget constraints, it’s looking more like the Pikesville Howard Johnson. Not good times, take the Ravens lay the 7.


BILLS -1 over MIAMI

The AFC East leading Bills head for warmer weather to take on the Dolphins. That’s right, AFC East leaders….letting it sink in. Back with me? Miami can’t seem to figure itself out just yet. Pack some sunscreen and take the Bills.

FALCONS +9.5 over EAGLES.

No one starts faster then the Eagles then fades in the second half. It’s like Any Reid turns into Fielding Yost after scoring a couple of TD’s. (Coach Yost used to punt on second or Third down as a defensive tactic. Needless to say the game has changed a little.) I think the Eagles win but it should be close.


RAMS +7.5 over PATRIOTS

Are the Rams that good or are the Cowboys that bad? The Redskins game?, you could say the skins kind of handed that game to em with all the turnovers. But Dallas? That game was painful to watch ever for guys with fantasy points on the line in that game. So I guess I’ll take those 7.5 points and pray. Besides who’s running the ball for New England? No Maroney, Lamont Jordan is banged and Sammy Morris is nursing a sore quad. So does that mean we’ve got Kevin Faulk and BenJarvis Green-Ellis carrying the rock for the Pats? Scary.


REDSKINS -7.5 over LIONS

The last time the Lions beat the Redskins Harry Truman was president and Night Train Lane was the quarterback for the Lions. I wonder if he’s available for this game. Take the ‘skins.


TEXANS -9 over BENGALS

This is the rescheduled Hurricane IKE game. I’m not sure how big this line would have to be to take the Bengals but its def. bigger than this. Good to see Marvin Lewis has that team headed in the right direction. Think Sam Wyche would be willing to come out of retirement?


Other Picks not worthy of special mention

SDC -3
NYJ – 13.5
DAL -2
CAR -4
JAX -7
NYG +3
SFX -5
TEN -4

Week 7 Picks- Pinkie Watch Hour 120.

Dickie Dunn here, Before you get all riled up, and complain about no week 6 picks let's get a few things straight. One, I have a day job. Two, that day job involves the stock market. Yes, THAT stock market. And Three, my wife gave birth to our second daughter last week. Needless to say I’ve been a bit busy. You can even throw in a fourth disclaimer, owing to excuses two and three, my picks probably would’ve stunk, well, stunk worse than usual. So let’s just pretend I went 50/50 last week and all you’re out is the juice. We cool G?


Ok onto Antonio Ramiro Romo’s pinkie. Look, playing with any injury hurts, and if he guts it out, kudos to him. Let’s just hope he doesn’t do any nerve damage to the thing ala Anthony Munoz’s pinkie, have you seen that thing? Talk about ugly appendages, I haven’t seen something that nasty hanging off a person since Bruce Campbell battled the Army of Darkness and evil Bruce popped out of his shoulder.
It’s one thing to battle it out in the trenches with the pinkie taped to your ring finger, it’s quite another to be asked to throw a football. Oh yeah, throw it accurately and with velocity. In case you were wondering, Anthony Munoz is the guy on the right in the above picture. Let just hope Tony Romo knows a better surgeon than Mr. Munoz.



Onto the picks.


TEN -9 vs KC

You think it was a little awkward in the locker room after Tony Gonzalez didn’t get traded this week? Was it a bit like Andy Duphrene walking back into the yard after a date with the sisters? Quick story, we had a broker who worked in our office back about ten years ago. He was fairly new to the business and wasn’t doing very well, one day he wore a yellow shirt under his dress shirt and got heckled pretty bad for it. So he decides to quit, as he walks out of the office, we can see him get into his car to drive away, only his car wouldn’t start, So he has to get out and walk home, while we watched him from the window, now that was awkward. I’m not saying Tony Gonzalez walking back into that locker room was quite that awkward, but it might’ve been close. Take the Titans.


NYG -10.5 vs SFO


If we’ve learned one thing about the NFL it’s that it’s hard to go east and play the early game. Something tells me the Giants are going to be a little upset about the Browns debacle last week and take it out on JT O’Sullivan. Not good times for the Niners. Take the G Men.



HOU -9 vs. DET

As bad as the Lions have been at home, they’ve been worse on the road. Let’s just say if you’re Matt Millen and the mayors of Minneapolis, Green Bay and Chicago all offered to give you a key to the city, you haven’t done a great job as a GM. Take the Texans.

WAS – 7.5 vs. CLE

Which of these teams is for real? The Redskins go out and beat the Cowboys and Eagles on the road then lose to the Rams? Cleveland stinks up the joint for 5 weeks, while simultaneously killing fantasy teams across the country. Has there ever been more fantasy team killers on one team? They’re like the bizarro 2004 Colts. I’ll take the Browns and those 7.5 pts but I don’t feel great about it.

NEP -3 vs DEN

On paper the Broncos should walk in this game, they have the better offense, and should be able to shut down Randy Moss with Champ Bailey. But can the Broncos stop the run? This feels like one of those classic Belichek games where Sammy Morris has 45 carries and they dominate time of possession something like 39min to 21min. I’ll take the Pats, plenty of good karma going through Beantown lately. I mean if the Sox can come back from down 7-0 in the seventh to the Rays. Anything can happen, take the Pats.

Other Picks

San Diego + 2 at the Bills
Pitt -9.5 at the Bengals
Miami -3 vs. Baltimore
Dallas minus whatever vs. Rams
Chi -3 vs. the VIkes
Saints +3 at Carolina
Jets -3 at OAK
Colts -1.5 at GBP
Tampa -10.5 vs. SEA


BONUS PICK

Penn State – 55 vs Michigan*

I haven’t seen a Michigan team this bad since the Fab 5 got the entire basketball program put on probation in the 90’s, yeah that’s right I had to find a different sport to equate the proper sucktitude. This might be the worse Michigan team since the forward lateral was legalized, although we did finish 0-3 in 1881 after humbling losses to Harvard, Yale and Princeton. The Wolverines scored a total of 4 pts that year. ( eerily similar to this year)
So the lone bright spot of 1881 was two safeties. Things will get better, and with a bedrock coach like Rich Rodriguez running the program you know he’s going to see this through. No way he’d leave the program and abandon his players…. No way.

Until next week when we get investigative report on tailgating in the Big Ten from Wally Solbchak. -Dickie


* line approximate


If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it’s gotta be true.

Week 5 Picks are here- Taste the Cold !!

Dickie Dunn here, I'd first like to start off by remembering my old friend Reginald Arthur Dunlop or Reg' to his friends. Reg passed away this week after a protracted battle with cancer. Reg and I go back all the way to his days in the Federal League when he the player coach with the Charlestown Chiefs. Reg was always a good interview. He'd even let you in on a rumor or two once he got to know you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me telling you he did ok with the ladies, including a figure skater or two. Nobody got more out of his players, one if his left wingers, Carlson I think his name was, even punched a guy out when he thought he called Reg' old. My memory is hazy but I think the guy's name was Barclay Donaldson. Reg' wasn't above calling out his owner or GM if he thought they were not looking out for the best interests of the team. Can anyone say Jack Robinson? Needless to say they don't make 'em like Reg Dunlop anymore. Now he's gone to the big locker room in the sky, where I'm sure he's organizing a card game and watching his favorite Soap opera.
RIP Reg, you'll be missed.
Onto the wek 5 picks....

Who needs a win more than the Colts? This could be a kitchen sink game for them. Even if Payton's leg falls off. they have to win this game. They might even throw the ball to Marvin harrison. take the Colts, lay the 3.

So let me get this straight. Miami wins a game against a crippled Patriots team and all of a sudden they can beat the San Diego Chargers? Sure the Chargers D defends the way the French Army did against Germany's Panzers in WWII but still. Aren't the Chargers going to score 45 this game? Take the Panzers... SDC - 6.5

The Bears play at Detroit and are laying 3.5. There's some potentail "dinn dong the witch is dead" mojo here. But sooner or later I think the Leos with realize they still stink. take the bears.

I think you have to take the Broncos at altitude agains the Bucs this weekend. Although it seems every week we're getting a Brian Griese revenge game. How many teams have given up on him? In a related note if you ever wanted to buy an ex Michigan QB a beer. You might want to hang out in the LoDo area of Denver Sat night, chances are good you'll see him there is all I'm saying.


My other picks- Titans -3, Carolina -9.5, Philly -6, GBP -5, Giants -7, niners +3, Buffalo +1, Dal -17, Jax -4, and Saints -3.

There you have it, until next week


Dickie Dunn

"If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it's gotta be true!"

Week 3 Picks: Who Let the Dogs In and Advice for (Chuck) Weiss

Nobody likes to see anybody else get hurt (or you shouldn’t). However, a few of my chums seemed to think that the injury sustained by Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weiss was cause for celebration (or at least an opportunity to take a cheap shot). I think that a lot of these people are missing the bigger picture here which is that Mr. Weiss is now facing surgery and a lengthy recovery process. First Carson Palmer, then Tom Brady, now Charlie Weiss. You have to remember that Charlie Weiss and the “S” word are not friends (http://legalpublication.blogspot.com/2007/07/charlie-weiss-sues-doctors-over-botched.html). If I were Weiss, I would want to think twice before going under the knife after such a debacle. I think that he really only has one reasonable alternative: peg leg. Just think, the next time he wants to try to capitalize on acquiring a personal foul for his team when the action gets too close, he would no longer have to lie to officials by saying that an opposing player “punched him in the face”. He could just start flopping on the ground and accusing opposing players of “sweeping the peg”. The guy is obviously not beyond behaving in this manner to curry favor for his team, he just needs to take it to the next level for dramatic effect. No surgery, more penalties called against opposing teams, I’d have to call that a win-win for Chaz. (Go Green!)

Anyway, Wally Sobchak here in time to bestow my week 3 NFL picks upon thee. Never seen it before and I’ve been following NFL odds for a considerable amount of time. All but one home team is favored this week. Not only is almost every home team favored, with the exception of Washington every home team would be favored at a neutral site (AKA -3 from the point spread). So, my guess is that half of the home teams will cover and half of them won’t. (By the way, my sub par 15-32 record will be addressed next week).

Before I give my picks, let’s break down what we know about the NFL going into week 3.

1) Both the Kansas City Chiefs and Cincinnati Bengals have a great shot of going 0-16 this year. Thank the football gods for not having these two AFC teams pitted up against each other this season. This could lead to one of the more interesting offseason moments, the coin flip to decide which 0-16 team will get the number one pick in next year’s draft. It’s too bad, I actually have a lot of friends who are Bengals fans and it’s tough for them to handle that a) the Marvin Lewis era has failed (after a promising trip to the playoffs a few years back) and b) Carson Palmer may never be the same Quarter back after the infamous “sweep the leg, Kimo” cheap shot from said playoff game. Seems like that team needs to be scuttled in the off season and have a start from scratch rebuilding effort. Anyway, still pulling the stripes to salvage something from this wretched start.

2) The Carolina Panthers defense is very underrated. They have played two very solid offenses (both of whom put up very solid offensive numbers in their other games) and have kept their team in a position to win (which they have). Anybody able to get 20-1 or better on the cats to win the Super Bowl wouldn’t be a chump for taking a shot. (Side note: the Carolina DST is available in 35% of leagues in the world of cbs fantasy. If you are in need, they are solid.)

3) Teams I will parlay until they prove that they can’t cover : Philadelphia, New York Giants, Green Bay Packers (this includes this week, more on that later).

4) Teams that I may never take a shot on all season long: the fore mentioned Cincinnati, Kansas City, Minnesota, Miami and Detroit.

So, we will reevaluate these positions next week. On to the picks:
Since home teams are all favorites this weekend, let’s try to figure out who can cover on the road.

Oakland (+8) at Buffalo – Still not sold on Buffalo. They were up 10 early last week and almost lost outright at home. Oakland is not as bad as that first game would indicate. Lane Kiffin seems like he is out after any type of loss. If think the Raiders step up and make it close (or they may go on the never take a shot list).

Carolina (+3.5) at Minnesota – You’re giving points to a 2-0 team who has to play against Gus Frerotte and an iffy Adrian Peterson? Really?

Cleveland (+1.5) at Baltimore – Cleveland has played well for most of its two losses against two superior opponents. Joe Flacco has played the Bengals.

Also, out of the road dog category, here’s my pick on the only home dog playing this week. Give me Green Bay and the points against Dallas. Dallas is great offense minus terrible defense minus road game. Green Bay is good offense plus good defense plus home game. Take those Packers and the points.

Until next week, a good day to you sir, Wally Sobchak.

Home Team	Line	Opponent	Wally's Pick	Dickie's Pick
Atlanta	-4.5	Kansas City	Atlanta	Atlanta
Buffalo	-8.5	Oakland	Oakland	Oakland
Chicago	-3.5	Tampa Bay	Chicago	Chicago
Tennesse	-4.5	Houston	Tennessee	Tennessee
Minnesota	-3.5	Carolina	Carolina	Carolina
New England	-12.5	Miami	New England	Miami
New York Giants	-13.5	Cincinnati	New York	New York
Washington	-3.5	Arizona	Washington	Washington
Denver	-5.5	New Orleans	New Orleans	Denver
San Francisco	-3.5	Detroit	Detroit	San Francisco
Seattle	-9.5	St. Louis	St. Louis	Seattle
Baltimore	-1.5	Cleveland	Cleveland	Cleveland
Philadelphia	-2.5	Pittsburgh	Philadelphia	Philadelphia
Insidanapolis	-5.5	Jacksonville	Indianapolis	Indianapolis
Green Bay	+2.5	Dallas	Green Bay	Green Bay
San Diego	-8.5	New York Jets	San Diego	San Diego

Dickie Dunn here,

Let's just say it's a good thing the schedule this week gives us the battle for the Keystone State in Philly/Pitt and a rematch of the "Frozen Tundra" game with Dallas visiting Green Bay because the rest of the schedule is fairly weak. Oh and FYI, Vegas has the over/under on how many times Chris Berman uses his "FROOZENNN TunnnnDraaa at LAMBEAU field !!" line at 6 1/2. Take the over.

Atlanta vs KC is the chop off your pinkie game. Wally and I always joke that with a game like this if you were given two choices. Watch every play of the game or chop off your pinkie...which one would you choose? If you start thinking about which pinkie you'd have to go with....it's not a good sign for that game. I like the Falcons, I think they know how to do one thing well (run the ball) and that's one more than the Chiefs.

You gotta take the Carolina Panthers against the Vikings, I had a turf toe problem in college and it hurt bad. I would try and play and put it out of my mind but in the end it just hurt...a lot. and I was a lineman, didn't have to make quick cuts and get up off the ground almost every play. So AP is not going to be a happy camper come the second half when that painkiller injection wears off.


I think the Redskins will cover over the Cardinals, AZ has looked halfway decent, but you need to win a road game before I take you seriously. Besides the Cardinals are so cheap you know they didn't spring for a private charter flight and aren't staying in a 5 diamond hotel. So you mean to tell me the Cards are going to play well after sleeping on a crummy bed and flying cross country with a three hour layover in ATL? I don't think so.

You gotta love Broncos fans. the team goes 2-0, one good win, one win helped out by a ref's blown call and they start checking out January flights to Tampa. I think they're good....it's just a little early. In the words of Winston Wolf....well you know what they are. ( It's a family blog) But as long as they're playing at home and teams have to come up to altitude to play them, they'll win the early home games.

I think you take the Packers this week because I'm not sold on the Dallas D. I think the Patriots could be the first team to go 13-3 straight up and 0-16 against the spread. Until vegas realizes that Tom Brady isn't coming back anytime soon, take all those points you're going to get betting against them.


One quick side bar, it's good to see the Treasury Dept get involved in bailing out our financial system this week. Anytime you can cover for the mistakes of CEO's who spent shareholder's money like drunkensailors, bought things that they didn't understand,sold products to clients without telling them the true risks, got insurance companies to insure said products so the clients felt ok about buying them. Even though no one at the Insurance companies seemed to understand the risks they were taking buy insuring these structured products, and make the American taxpayer pay for it, it's a win win. Now the Taxpayers will own the largest mortgage portfolio the world has ever seen. Don't get me wrong I think we'll come out ahead in the long run. Since the loans given to these banks by the Fed/treasury dept will be around 11 1/2% interest. Any we'll be buying the mortgages at 30 cents on the dollar. Shouldn't the CEO's of the companies that got us into this mess in the first place lose their jobs? Instead they'll get huge bonus checks beacause the shares of these companies will rise as a result of unloading this debt to the American Public. Nice. U-S-A!! U-S-A!!
One bright note, the RTC trust that Treasury Secretary Paulson is planning to revive for this endeavor, has as a nickname, "The Wolf". Which a classic reference to Harvey Keitel's character in "Pulp Fiction". I imagine it this way. W is on the phone freaking out to Paulson. Paulson calms him down and says... "Sit down and relax and wait for the Wolf." W- "you called the WOLF?". Paulson. " yeah, you feel better now?" W- "shoot yeah bro, that's all you had to say!"... Good Times.


My thoughts...and picks for the week.

Faithuflly submitted, Douglas C Niedermayer.


I mean, Dickie the Greek.

Week 2 Picks : Weirdness Abound!

Wally Sobchak rolling out his week 2 picks. Yes, I am quite aware that last week’s “lock” came up slightly short. I think the Lions got caught off guard by that early bomb to Jenkins and that kept them at bay from playing the run for the rest of the game. The Lions were still in it at 28 – 21, but too much rushing excellence by the Falcons won out at the end. I tip my cap to the Falcons and believe that much better things are in store for their near future. They probably ended up with the biggest score of last year’s draft in Matt Ryan. The good news regarding my “lock”, as pointed out by my good friend Dickie Dunn, was that had I been in Vegas (because gambling is definitely not legal in the sunshine state), I would have had the Lions on all of my parlay slips. Little victories, right?

Other than that snafu, I had a respectable week, finishing 9 of 14 on Sunday followed with a dreadful 0 of 2 on Monday. All in all, a winning week highlighted by taking Tennessee over Jacksonville, Carolina over San Diego (loved the end of that game when the receiver catches Delhomme’s game winning TD pass and everyone just stands there in shock, including the crowd) and Chicago over Indianapolis.

Enough about the past, we’re heading into week 2. This is usually a bad week for picking against the spread. It’s the week where you think you have a good idea about a few teams, but in reality probably not. The fact that a lot of strange lines have popped up is very demonstrative of this theory. Take for instance, Tennessee coming off of a strong defensive showing against last year’s upstart Jaguars are a 1.5 point dog on the road against the Bengals (who were deterred by a rookie starting his first game last week). Seems odd. My thought is that odds makers believe that the Bengals need to have a big game to a) prevent their season from being flushed down the toilet and b) save Marvin Lewis’ job. I’m not buying it.

The Washington Redskins had an abysmal week 1 (see previous post), however, they somehow find themselves being favored in week 2 against a strong Saints team. I know the Colston injury seems like a big hit for the Saints, but Jeremy Shockey and Devery Henderson can still open it up for Reggie Bush on the outside. Not buying this either.

Both of these are games which I would completely avoid if I was laying wood. It seems like Vegas knows something that us common folk do not. My guess is that the favorite hits in one of those two games.

Here are the games which I like this week (aka would bet on if betting were legal, blah, blah, blah):

Carolina laying 3.5 against the Bears. Bears looked great in week 1. So did the Panthers. When it comes down to it, I’ll bet Jake Delhomme over Kyle Orton. The half may end up biting me in the rear, but I’ll take my chances.

Minnesota getting 1.5 (at home) against the Colts. Inconceivable that Peyton Manning could start 0-2 this season, you say? Well, the Colts didn’t just get beaten last week, they were beaten up (hey Marvin Harrisson, way to show that you are still a force to be reckoned with in that receiving corp by fumbling away a ball that was returned for a TD. Maybe you should concentrate a little more on securing the ball and less on protecting your Philadelphia “business opportunities”. In an entirely unrelated story, wasn’t it funny how we never heard any follow-up on that shooting outside of Harrisson’s bar and that Roger Goodell never found it necessary to suspend Harrisson for something he was never convicted of? Roger loves the teams that earn the revenue.) Anyway, Addai’s hurt, Manning is still getting his feet under him, Minnesota has a very good defense as well. Get ready for the “end of the Colt’s dynasty” stories to pop up on Gameday next week.

Denver getting 2.5 (at home) over San Diego. The theme of the week is home dogs (unless you are the rams, in which case I may not pick you to cover all season long). The Jay Cutler revenge game against the smack talking Phillip Rivers is here. I guarantee that the Broncos haven’t forgotten about those two Chargers beat downs from last season. I think the defense brings it against Rivers and LT’s injury is a factor. I will also be attending this game and the Broncos seem to have a knack for covering when I’m at Invesco.

I have no lock this week, because all of the matchups are interesting (with the exception of Giants-Rams and I can’t even lock that because NYG’s offense seemed questionable in the second half against Washington AKA let’s not take any chances because these guys can’t score on our defense).

That’s it for me, I’m sure Dickie will see things differently.

And a good day to you, sir.

Wally



Dickie The Greek here, had to knock some pre-season dust off of my handicapping abilities last week. Hope you still have your house. After week 1 here's what you know: The Raiders and Rams will be fighting it out for the number one pick next April, and Tom Brady isn't going to be on "Dancing with the Stars" anytime soon. Also, Jacksonville proved it's pretty tough to win when you lose 3 starting offensive lineman over the span of two weeks. To put this in perspective, most teams only carry 7 offensive lineman total. Which means Coach Del Rio now has at least one person playing key minutes who wasn't considered good enough to even make their roster just one month ago. If you ask me, I think David Garrard should start wearing extra kidney pads just to be safe. Speaking of being safe, I need to echo my man Wally's comments about Marvin Harrison. The commish has a way of picking his battles when if comes to the leagues conduct policy. I wonder if Mr. Harrison would have been suspended if the Colts weren't having the grand opening of their new Lucas Oil Stadium week one. With oil hovering at about $100 bucks a barrel, coming up with the cash for naming rights must not have been too tough.
Now onto the soon to be famous often imitated but never duplicated, week two picks from Dickie the Greek. Lots of stinkers this week, good thing I have the Sunday Ticket or I'd be stuck watching Oak vs. KC. take the chiefs...don't watch the game. Not sure how that Packers/Lions game isn't more than 3. Take the Pack. Matt Millen has destroyed all hope in Detroit even earlier in the season than usual. I like the Bills, somehting tells me being down 3 O-lineaman is gonna slow the Jags a bit. and the only thing interesting about that Ravens/ Texans game is Hurricane Ike. I took the Ravens. My complete picks are below, lots of stay away games if I was in Vegas, but I made every pick. The closest thing I could come to a "Lock of the week" was the Packers minus the figgie at Ford field. Probably better to lay some wood on the Trojans to pummel the Buckeyes on Sat. The Buckeyes cheat wayyyy better than the Trojans and pay their players lots more and Pete Carroll isn't happy about it. I see him amaking a statement Sat night. Followed by Jim Tressel going to the Alumni mon morning and having them line up some more lucrative "summer internships" for the Class of 2009.

Until Beer with Breakfast is socially acceptable, Dickie Dunn.

(aka Dicke the Greek)

Home Team	Line	Opponent	Wally's Pick	Dickie's Pick
Cincinnati	-1.5	Tennessee	Tennessee	Tennessee
Washington	-.5	New Orleans	New Orleans	New Orleans
Carolina	-3.5	Chicago	Carolina	Carolina
Jacksonville	-6.5	Buffalo	Jacksonville	Buffalo
Detroit	+2.5	Green Bay	Green Bay	Green Bay
Kansas City	-3.5	Oakland	Oakland	Kansas City
St. Louis	+8.5	New York Giants	New York	New York
Minnesota	+1.5	Indianapolis	Minnesota	Indianapolis
Seattle	-8.5	San Francisco	Seattle	San Francisco
Tampa Bay	-8.5	Atlanta	Atlanta	Atlanta
New York Jets	-2.5	New England	New England	New England
Arizona	-6.5	Miami	Miami	Arizona
Denver	+2.5	San Diego	Denver	San Diego
Cleveland	+5.5	Pittsburgh	Pittsburgh	Pittsburgh
Houston	-4.5	Baltimore	Houston	Baltimore
Dallas	-6.5	Philadelphia	Philadelphia	Philadelphia

NFL Week 1 Picks are here!!!!

Wally's Post:
The NFL season has arrived and some of my early season predictions continue to be validated. Just a few mentions about my “told-you-so’s” from my previous post. First, Roger Goodell continues to baffle by once again suspending a Bengal (Chris Henry) for something he was legally acquitted of and reward the cowboys with full reinstatement for Pac Man. Apparently, in Gooddell’s mindset a few indescretions with alcohol/drugs is far worse than performing acts that leave people paralyzed, beating up strippers, spitting on fellow human beings. Oh wait, maybe it has more to do with making sure that every PSL in the 100,000 seat new Cowboy’s stadium gets sold. Either way, I’m glad that I am a Redskins fan and not from Houston. Oh and Chad Johnson, way to make a legal name change to try and make the fans forget that you totally dissed their club. Quite cunning.

Anyway, this year, Dickie Dunn and I will be having a little competition against the odds makers. I’ll give you a little rundown about where I am going with my picks:

First, I did take the Redskins to cover, last night...

Something made me think that Washington’s last two preseason games were a fluke and that Jason Campbell & Jim Zorn did have a clue about how to run an offense. Boy, was I wrong. After watching the first quarter and a half of offensive series, it was very apparent that Campbell expected the Giants D to come out just like the Washington scout team had in practice. When that didn’t happen, Campbell didn’t seem to have any idea about what was going on. He was so bad at reading the defense that Zorn had to put him on “passing probation” and not let him throw the ball for around nine straight downs during the second quarter. I should prohibit myself from picking my teams, but I somehow talked myself into “things being better than they are”.

On a side not, I was thinking about sending Zorn a “Football Coaching for Dummies” book, just to make sure that he has the basics down (You know “When inside of 5 minutes and down by 2 scores, it’s best to try and call/run a play in as short amount of time as possible” or “Tell your quarterback that dumping the ball off underneath on fourth and 13, with no time left on the clock, to his backup running back will be equally as successful as throwing an interception into the end zone” or “Ten yards makes a first down” or “Don’t smile and chuckle in your post game interview when you have just thoroughly embarrassed yourself”). You know; “the basics”.

Okay, enough of that, on to everything else that I like:

Something’s wrong with that Bills-Seahawks line, its weird when an inept offense is favored over a decent one.

I like my subscription to the “Chad Pennington gets revenge on his old squad which he just happens to be playing in week 1” theory.

If the Patriots line was doubled, I’d still have to think long and hard about taking them.

Cleveland will have to pull out all of the stops to try and show that last season wasn’t a fluke (and still comes up short, starting their downward spiral back to less-than-mediocrity). But that line seems lower than it should be (considering the way the Cowboys usually play until week 12).

I can’t believe I am picking Tavaris Jackson to go on the road and win (against a quality defense). Says more about the time which I am expecting the Green Bay offense to be on the field as opposed to defense.

In the battle of backups which have usurped former first round picks as the starter (Cardinals vs. Niners). Take the experience (aka Warner, can’t believe I just typed that..)

And finally, in the “cut off your pinky toe to make some money” game of the week take the Lions over the Falcons. I haven’t been one of those who jumped on the Lions band wagon over the last few years and am still skeptical. All I am saying is Matt Ryan won’t know where he is until about 2 minutes left in the 3rd. Kitna, Megatron and Roy have all looked very solid in the preseason. The D has played very well (anyone else watch the Lions D dismantle Brady Quinn? Didn’t think so). And Rudi is around to share some carries with the rookie. ->Seems<- like a “no brainer”.

And a good day to you, sir.

Wally Sobchak

Home Team	Line	Opponent	Wally's Pick	Dickie's Pick
NY Giants	-3.5	Washington	Washington	NY Giants
Atlanta	+2.5	Detroit	Detroit	Detroit
Buffalo	-.5	Seattle	Buffalo	Seattle
Tennesse	+3.5	Jacksonville	Tennessee	Jacksonville
Miami	+2.5	NY Jets	Miami	Miami
New England	-16.5	Kansas City	New England	New England
New Orleans	-3.5	Tampa Bay	New Orleans	New Orleans
Philadelphia	-7.5	St. Louis	Philadelphia	Philadelphia
Pittsburgh	-6.5	Houston	Pittsburgh	Pittsburgh
Baltimore	+.5	Cincinnati	Cincinnati	Cincinnati
San Diego	-9.5	Carolina	Carolina	San Diego
San Francisco	+2.5	Arizona	Arizona	Arizona
Cleveland	+3.5	Dallas	Dallas	Dallas
Indianapolis	-9.5	Chicago	Chicago	Indianapolis
Green Bay	-2.5	Minnesota	Minnesota	Green Bay
Oakland	+1.5	Denver	Oakland	Oakland

Dickie's Post:
Dickie Dunn here. I’m going to be bringing you some NFL picks this week. But first I have some random observations that have come to me since my last post.
Directv has given me three free months of Showtime for being such a long time loyal customer. I’m pretty sure this means I spend too much on my monthly cable bill but someone has to watch “The Thirsty Traveler” and my life wouldn’t be complete without 6 different home shopping channels. Getting to my main point, I was watching Clerks 2 chatting on the phone with my man in Amsterdam, Wally Solbchak and something struck me. It has to do with the music that was playing in the movie, it was the tune from Silence of the Lambs where Buffalo Bob dresses up like a woman and tucks tackle in front of the mirror. Possibly the most disturbing moment of the movie for me. Keep in mind this was a movie that featured Hannibal Lector wearing another guy’s face to escape from some prison guards. Anyways, this music is playing and it’s become famous because of this scene and I couldn’t help but feel bad for this artist who probably spent his whole life trying to be creative, finally had his big break when one of his songs got picked to be in this huge summer blockbuster and it’s forever associated with some dude playing “hide the hammer” with his twig and berries. I hope his Grandma didn’t attend the premiere is all I’m saying.
Only thing worse would be the Valtrex guy, you think video from him saying “I’ve got Herpes” wasn’t played by his buddies at his Bachelor party? Me neither.
Now for the soon to be famous, often imitated but never duplicated, often wrong but never in doubt, picks from Dickie “The Greek” Dunn.

There are only two things in life better than handicapping NFL games. I’ll let you figure out the first one. As for the second one? Well that’s actually being in Vegas laying real money on these games. So until I’m independently wealthy and can quit my day job, this is all you get.


I took the Giants on Thursday, probably more of a pick against the Redskins O than anything else.

I took Cincinnati and the points against the Ravens. The Bengals are bad but I’d sooner have dental work done through my prostate than take a rookie starter coming from I-AA.

I like Miami and the Figgie, I don’t feel great about it but I think Pennington might be worth a few points with the whole revenge factor thing going.

Like the head coach from Teen Wolf , There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. Oh yeah, never trust Herm Edwards or the Chiefs under any circumstances.

I took the Steelers; they always seem to start strong and then fade down the stretch. Not sure the Texans have arrived yet. I’ll take the dudes with the yellow towels but, I don’t feel great about it.

I think the Jags cover the three and Jeff Fischer finds a way to blame his players for him not making any good coaching calls down the stretch.


The Lions started fast last year and I think they’ll do so again until people realize all you have to do is put pressure on Kitna and he folds like the Philistines.

No way Holmgren and the boys go into Buffalo and lose. Unless Hasselback gets into a wing eating contest the night before at the Elks lodge in Lackawanna up on Route 6.

I like the Saints minus the 3, since they’re home and Shockey hasn't been seen on Bourbon Street for a couple of weeks.

I went back and forth on the Eagles and Rams. It’s a lot of points and there’s no way the Rams can be as bad as they were last year right? Right? Give me the Eagles, McNabb’s healthy and they should be decent until his groin falls off in week 9.

Gotta go with the Cowboys, I think the Browns are this years 2007 Ravens. They got lucky as hell last year and think they’re better than they are.

Give the Chargers, lay the 8 ½. Norv Turner sucks but so does John Fox and there’s no Steve Smith.

Take the Cards but don’t bet the mortgage.

Take the Colts and pray Manning’s knee is up to snuff and they don’t miss their center.

I like Green Bay. Good defensive battle potential here. That’s studio speak for boring game.

Gotta go with the Raiders in week one, they’re my team and seem to be improving. McFadden’s got some hope in his step and Huggie Bear is sneaky. Hopefully the defense can hold up over the season. But week 1, they should be fired up.

There you have em. All of our week one picks, completely free and worth every penny.

Until Beer with Breakfast is socially acceptable, Dickie "The Greek" Dunn.

Whatever happened to the Bridge?

Dickie Dunn here. For all of you sports fans out there, we're in the home stretch of the countdown until football season gets rolling. Thus marking the start of another "season" of sports. For people like me, it's like a bear waking up from hibernation, ready to bust out the 'tato skins and nachos and stop all pesky outdoor activities. Until that first pre-season game, you get my opinion about stuff that nobody cares about except me. So like the cook at the Paul Bunyan Lodge in "Great Outdoors" bon appétit !
No charges have been filed and we have very few witnesses. But we had plenty of victims as Kenny G killed the sax as a viable instrument for Rock and Roll bands.
Let’s start with a quick quiz. Remember Huey Lewis and his band called the News? Too easy? Ok how about the J Geils Band? Still too easy? Ok, name me a popular rock band that features one of its members playing a saxophone? A bit harder huh? I’m 34 years old and growing up I listened to plenty of acts that featured a saxophone. Besides the above mentioned two, there was the John Fogerty Band, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band; Billy Joel even had one in his act. Nowadays unless you count Lisa Simpson and her pal Bleeding Gums Murphy, we got nothing. (Ok, ok I know the sax is still very popular in Jazz but I bet you couldn’t name me one artist on Billboard’s top ten Jazz records for July 17, 2008.
Some people would blame Motley Crue or Van Halen. I blame Kenny G. This 52 year old from Seattle, WA turned the saxophone into an instrument only played by wussies. Now I’m pretty sure Kenneth Gorelick aka. Kenny G didn’t start out wanting to accomplish the infamous task of ruining the sax for a generation of artists. But I tell you this, what Dan Fogelberg started, Kenny G finished. Obscure Denis Leary references aside, I have a couple of theories on why you don’t see the sax anymore.

The Heart of Rock and Roll is still beating.-

I think there are only two reasons why someone joins a band, to get rich and to get laid and not in that order. You think David Lee Roth would need paternity insurance in the 80’s if he was playing the saxophone? I don’t think so either. That one you can blame on Kenny G. I’ve seen the kind of chicks that have attended his concerts over the years, not exactly the extras from a “Girls gone Wild” video. Nostalgic people will go on and on about the music was more pure back in the day. Although I think you’d be hard pressed to find too many people to wax nostalgic about the purity of music at the beginning of the MTV era.
Onto the money part. Judging by what I’ve seen pass for music these days, it’s hard to still consider it an art form. Guys like Bob Dylan, and Paul Simon, they wrote lyrics and music that defined a generation, and the music still holds up after all these years. I could be wrong but to these guys wrote music because they had all this pent up creative energy that needed a channel and that was songwriting. They were probably still guilty of wanting to get laid ( who doesn’t) but I don’t feel like they were only in it for the money. Most of today’s artist’s I doubt could make that same claim. You could argue about the artistic merits of “I kissed a girl” but it would be a short conversation. At least the part where I was paying attention would be. That being said it’s really become about the money. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be compensated for what they create. In fact I was one of the roughly ten people in this country who’d never heard of Napster until that drummer from Metallica with the bad breath made song stealing into a huge deal. But mostly about the money is different than all about the money.
I think it’s our fault. Somehow we settled for the crap that the music industry is turning out. They appealed to the lowest common denominator and we bought it up. A song with a good beat and easy to remember lyrics became valued over any song that actually made a statement. Sure, Justin Timberlake’s “Cry me a river” and Miley Cyrus’s “ 7 things I hate about you” make statements but don’t expect me to pay good money for what amounts to a break up note. Maybe Blues Traveler had it right, "It doesn't matter what I say, as long as I sing with inflection....the hook brings you back"

My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold.-

Now, imagine you’re a young angst ridden teenager with a passion for lyrics that you just have to turn into music. You’ve seen Almost Famous about 300 times. You don’t know much but you’re pretty sure of one thing. You want to be a Rock Star. Are you going to pick up and learn the guitar or the saxophone? Don’t feel bad, I would choose the guitar too. Can you imagine a young Kurt Cobain learning to play Blues scales on the sax ? Yeah I don’t see it either. So, if the pimply kid in the marching band no longer stands a chance of joining a band and joining said band is the only way he’s ever going to get laid?…time to pick up the guitar because as they say, if you can’t beat em, join em.

Sometimes I think I’ll shuffle off to Buffalo-

So what happened to this generation of bands? Nowadays everything is over synthesized and remixed. Maybe there is just no room for a saxophone solo after the first verse of today’s songs. I don’t recall seeing a saxophonist in the latest Rihanna video. In this pre-packaged canned era of music, the sax just doesn’t fit. I’m not sure this is a good thing. Is there a reason that some of the more popular songs of late sample music from long ago? Sure is. Kenny G could be responsible for more than just killing off the Sax, he could have single handedly ushered in the Grunge era and all the depressing songs that go with it. Of course it’s debatable whether Kenny G’s songs are more depressing the some of the stuff that’s come out of Seattle in the 90’s. I’m not even going to try to figure out why a place that spawned Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain could also turn out Kenny G.

Still, it’s hard for me to fully condemn Kenny G. He did what he had to do to get laid and or rich. I just hope he can live with the carnage he’s caused.

NFL (Next Forgotten League)

NFL (Next Forgotten League)

Been a while, but I’ve been out teaching about the tenants of nation socialism. Say what you will. Anyway, figured it’s about time to get back to the world of submitting my unwanted opinion and having almost nobody care. It’s better that way.

I just caught on espn.com that perennial pouter Jeremy Shockey got his trade to the New Orleans Saints today. Apparently, the Saints didn’t consider him important enough to drop one of their early draft (3rd and 6th) picks this season to acquire him, but were willing to sacrifice their 2009 picks (2nd and 5th) to get this specimen. Basically, telling the world that this year’s draft picks AND the Shockey pick-up will make those picks a lot less valuable next year. Good luck with that. I’ve always enjoyed Shockey as a competitor, but his personality leaves a fair amount to be desired. In and out of conflicts off the field, he sat back and pouted (while drinking Margs and beer in a suite as opposed to standing on the sidelines with his teammates) during the Super Bowl while a guy who had never played showed his colors and made Shockey completely disposable. The Saints need more than just a Tight End (anybody want to ask Reggie Bush when he might start to contribute offensively, maybe Reggie Bush can donate his knee cartilage to Deuce McAllister and then we’d be talking). As it is, we’re about 3 months from a public blow up between Drew Brees and Shockey when Brees misses him on a sideline out for 7 yards. Am I wrong, am I wrong?

This is just another example of an untimely step in a league which is deterring out of control. The implementation of a new collective bargaining agreement is what has brought prosperity to a league which had image problems. In the 1990s the issue was related to smaller markets being unable to compete with the larger markets with solid fan bases. Now, smaller markets have just as much spending power as the larger markets and it makes anybody feel like they have the right to hold their team hostage.

Chad Johnson is a great example of somebody who can’t stop dragging his (smaller franchised) team down. During the off season, he demanded a trade citing his team’s lack of appreciation for all of his “hard work”. What’s appreciation “take you in the back and suck your !@#$”? Here’s a suggestion for Chad Johnson, lead your team in important receiving categories and I’m sure you’ll get your appreciation. Don’t be the second best receiver on your team statistically and wonder why your team doesn’t go nuts when you make 5 receptions in a single game. I wonder how Bengals fans like that behavior after paying his salary with their over-priced tickets. Oh yeah, sorry we didn’t cheer louder when you caught that 7 yard slant, we were too busy paying attention to our 5-12 record. Was there any doubt? They were threatening castration…

The new crime fighter of the NFL isn’t helping things, either. Yeah, it’s great that you are trying to “clean up” the mean streets of the inner sanctum of the NFL, but at some point you are going to have to understand that we live in an on-demand age. I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but words and information are traveling pretty fast these days. Rarely can a well known personality go out in public without somebody snapping off a picture on their multimedia devices. Text messages are out before an athlete can be seated in a nice restaurant. In other words, the players in this league are under far more scrutiny than in years past when an altercation could occur and be quietly “taken care of” by the “local” PD. Back in the day, everything was he say-she say. Times are changing, “do-gooder”. Your new policies about behavior are just going to continue to handicap teams which don’t have appropriate denizens for players to retire to after games, practices and workouts. Most of these guys are in their 20s and want to have a good time. Usually the general public will find some way to interfere with that for the chance to be that guy who said that thing that sent -insert name here- over the edge.

And while we are at it, Do-gooder, if you are going to lay down the law, can you at least try to set some standards by which your punishments will fit the crimes. I find it very hard to believe that the Dallas Cowboys can be expecting Pacman Jones to return to play this year. With your relentless handling of the O’Dell Thurman suspension, for drunk driving (suspended for almost 2 full seasons), I can’t possibly see how Pacman could be eligible for reinstatement. Not knowing the full story (and having Thurman not make this look like a great case study by failing a subsequent drug test), I can only make assumptions (based on reports). But just because Jerry Jones can afford great baby sitters, doesn’t take away from the fact that Pacman has violated the law in a more frequent and severe manner (anyone reading this article should know the many instances which I am referring to). So if I can get this right, you play for the Bengals or Titans, prepare to deal with the long arm of the law. If you play for the Cowboys, we’ll make your iffy acquisitions work for you. In the end, the Do-Gooder may just want to leave legalities up to lawyers and judges and juries, maybe sit the next few plays out.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a proponent of a thug league, but you have to draw your line in the sand and pick your battles. Marshawn Lynch is really hoping you do.

All in all, I see bad times coming for the most popular professional sports league in the world. With bad financial times upon us, I can see people giving up those season tickets and PSLs for a break from the people behind these teams. Yeah, Dallas will have the biggest stadium in the NFL, but who’s paying for it and who is prospering from the sale of these over seating licenses? When will people get tired of the same old Sunday garbage and cancel those $300 Sunday Ticket subscriptions and accept what they are dealt from local television coverage. It seems like this league is heading towards the perfect storm with an impending 2011 work stoppage. Oh well, maybe the Do-Gooder will have learned something from the recent NHL debacle or maybe he won’t be around to mitigate the situation being what the current course of the NFL is. Until next time…

And a good day to you, sir.
Wally Sobchak

We need the Dues!!

Dickie Dunn here,



yeah yeah yeah, long time no post I know. But it's summer and baseball doesnt get rolling until September, no one cares about tennis, Tiger's hurt and it'll be a cold day in hell before I spend my time writing anything substantive about the WNBA. That being said I'd like to introduce a guest editor, Sir Lester Burnham. First time I met Lester ( LB) he was drunk, second time I met him, he was married. I'm sure the two aren't related. If his writing ends up being worth a damn we'll have a get to know you session as some later date. until then take a gander and we'll see how he does.





10 most unbreakable sports records

A great way for any media source to draw attention is to create a list of the Top (10, 25, 100) greatest (Movies, sports teams, QBs, celebrity meltdowns, etc.) of all time. Viewers turn in to check out the list, and vigorous debates usually follow. Since I enjoy a heated discussion and Sports Baggery needs the traffic, I take my virgin dip into the journalistic pool with a list of my own. Let the debates begin.

For my consideration, a record had to meet these criteria:

(1) It has to be a real sport. Yes, Michael Schumacher’s 7 Formula One world championships are impressive. However, driving a car around a track doesn’t qualify as a sport. This rule automatically disqualifies all women’s sport records.
(2) It has to be a popular sport. I am sure that there is a Michael Jordan of Bocce out there setting all kinds of records, I just don’t care. I made an exception for the NHL, due to the fact that the co-managing, decision making editors of this site are huge hockey fans. However, when reruns of “Momma’s Family” score higher television ratings than your championship series, you lose the right to claim that you are a major sport.
(3) The feat had to occur in my lifetime. I have no doubt that Cy Young’s record of 511 wins will never be touched. Unless pitchers go back to pitching every day - including both ends of a double header -, it’s not going to happen. You can not realistically compare stats from such different eras.

With that, I present to you my list of the 10 Most Unbreakable Sports Records of My Lifetime.

10. Most career stolen bases: 1,406 Rickey Henderson

To let you know how impressive this number is, you have to consider that second on the list is Lou Brock with 938 steals. The active player with the most is 41 year-old free agent Kenny Lofton with 622.

9. Most consecutive wins (NBA): 33 - Los Angeles Lakers

The Houston Rockets were the talk of the NBA last year when they were able to put together the second longest streak in history with a mere 22. ( editors note, we think Wilt Chamberlain’s winning streak was much more impressive.)

8. Most consecutive Tour de France wins: 7 - Lance Armstrong

I almost omitted him due to the fact that I can’t stand the guy for some reason I can’t fully explain. However, it is such an impressive feat, it has to be included. Imagine how many he would have won with both of his testicles. Yes, I know you beat cancer. I know you are a great cyclist. Now please stop trying to sell me bracelets and nutritional products.

7. Most consecutive games played (MLB): 2,632 - Cal Ripken

The Ironman played 16 years straight without missing a day. My personal consecutive days worked record (without taking a vacation day or calling in sick) comes up a little short at 14. Oh, in addition, Cal played in 8,243 innings in a row, or every single inning of 900 + games. The current active player Ryan Howard owns the streak for active players with less than 250 – only 15 more years to catch Cal.

6. Most career yards receiving: 22,895 – Jerry Rice

No other receiver even comes close to the numbers that Jerry Rice amassed in his career. His sustained dominance over a long period of time assures many of his records will be almost impossible to break. He also holds other untouchable receiving records including total receptions (1,549), receiving Tds (197).

5. Most home runs in a season: 73* – Barry Bonds

Even though I can’t stand the guy, I have to admit that Bonds was one of the best players in the history of baseball. With (supposedly) more comprehensive drug testing in MLB, this tainted record will stand for a long time, if not forever. And the fact that he hit all of those home runs with a size 8 ½ head is even more impressive.

4. Most consecutive starts by a QB: 253 (275 inc. playoffs) – Brett Favre

Why is this ranked this higher than Ripken’s achievement? Favre accomplished it in the most violent sport, at the most injury prone position. Favre (with a little help from his friend Dr Demerol) made it an incredible 15+ years without missing a game. It looked liked the streak was going to end when his father died the day before a MNF game. It didn’t, as an emotional Favre lit up the Raiders for 321 yards passing and 4 Tds – in the first half. Favre has a less known record of most summers spent flip flop about retiring with 5.

3. Most points career (NHL): 2,857 - Wayne Gretzky

The Great One set a lot of records that should remain indefinitely Points in a season (215), most goals in a season (92), most assists in a season (163), and career assists (162) just to name few. How did I choose this one for the list? In second place for most career points is the legendary Gordie Howe, with more than 1,000 fewer. ( Editor’s note, if you must write/speak about Mr. Howe you must refer to him as “All Time Great hockey legend Mr. Gordie Howe”

2. Most consecutive NCAA basketball wins: 88 – UCLA

This kind of dominance of a sport will never be matched. Today, any decent college player jumps to the NBA after a year or two. No NCAA basketball team has gone undefeated in a single season since 1976. No other team has ever won more than 2 consecutive NCAA championships. UCLA went undefeated for almost 3 years and took an unbelievable 7 championships in a row.

1. Most career no-hitters: 7 - Nolan Ryan

Much to Robin Ventura’s chagrin, Nolan Ryan takes the number one spot on the list. In the long history of baseball, the closest to this number was Sandy Koufax with 4. Currently, no pitcher has more than 2. Add to this an amazing 15 one-hitters, 5,714 career strikeouts, and headlock and merciless beating of a mound charging hit batsman 20 years his junior. Ryan’s name should list in baseball record books for a while, if not an eternity.

Sir Lester Burnham

Boston sports fans finally get to celebrate a Championship....in 2008

It’s a hard thing to win a championship. Just ask Sir Charles or Karl Malone. Pierce, Garnett and the boys got their names off a dubious list last week. Anyone who saw Garnett’s post game interview could see the years of frustration being wiped away.

Kevin Garnett probably cemented his place and one the best forwards of his generation. Now he didn’t have the best finals but he played well in the last game and most people will use that as their barometer. He got the monkey off his back by winning a title and now Sir Charles has to pick up the tab next time they hit South Beach. ( Assuming Charles has paid off his gambling debts by then) Getting back to his post game interview, It’s rare that we see athletes give us anything other than pre-canned fodder good for a sound bit but not much more. Seeing him overwhelmed with emotion with a look of “I just climbed the mountain” look on his face spoke volumes about how much he cared about this.
Paul Pierce probably earned getting his number retired by the Celtics. Looking at the Garden rafters I’m not sure that’s a tough feat but still… Paul Pierce will never again be thought of as the guy who couldn’t get it done when it mattered. How many points did he have this postseason? 500? 1000? Just crazy numbers.
I think Ray Allen’s career peaked when he filmed “He Got Game” so we’ll leave him out of this post. But I will say that he certainly found his jump shot just in time.
I know Kobe has three titles. I know he’s the reigning MVP. I know he’s a first ballot hall of famer and all that but, how do you allow your team to blow a 24 point lead at home? I still think the Lakers will more titles before he’s retired but that had to be a tough blow. Maybe people will think of other Kobe moments like his three titles with Shaq, his 80+ point game last year but, for me it’s game 4 of the 2008 Finals. If you were a Laker fan would you ever feel safe with a lead again? Not likely.
You can hardly lay this loss squarely on Kobe’s shoulders though. Pao, Sasha, and Farmar never really showed up to play. Giving credit where credit is due as well, the Celtics played good D as well. I still think Kobe is the best player in the game. The Lakers look to be set up to win over the long haul. The Celtics are what’s now, the Lakers are what’s next. The Lakers should have a chance to take another title or two before Kobe’s knees give out or we have another “Vail” incident. I’m not sure if that comforts fans of the Lakers or not but, what else ya got? The Sparks?
Some leftover notes from the Finals: Does anyone know the significance of Kobe’s tattoo’s? They don’t look random to me but I’ll be damned if I can figure them out. They’re like hieroglyphs to me. Remember when only Bikers and Sailors had tattoos? It now seems like they’re everywhere in the NBA now. Did Dennis Rodman start all of this? If not him, who? Good thing the shorts have gotten longer. Who knows how many more tattoos we’d be forced to see. I wonder if the league considers this an image problem? Who knows. May be I’ll tackle that topic another time.
Speaking of Tattoo’s, I see that Carmelo Anthony, the ringleader of Team Tat, other wise known as the Nuggets, got busted and pleaded guilty to a DUI type offense. He was driving a silver Mercedes at the time. I guess no one’s ever told bit time pro athletes that if you’re going to break the law, don’t do it in a super fancy car. $200,000 Lamborghini’s and Maybach’s tend to stand out in a crowd you know what I mean? There’s no word on if Carmelo got a fresh tattoo while he was in lock up.
Lastly, do you think it’s awkward for the Lakers ticker guy when he has to tell Diane Cannon that she’s not hot enough to sit in the front row anymore? Gotta be a little uncomfortable right?



Dickie Dunn

“If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it’s gotta be true.”

Somehow I don't think rehab is gonna suck.

It doesn’t happen often and we rarely realize it when it does happen. It’s almost always through the power of hindsight that we find out we missed when it happened. Perhaps in today’s media saturated market we’ve become jaded to these moments. That’s what made “Do you believe in Miracles” call be Al Michaels so great, it wasn’t rehearsed. ( A quick sidenote, Isn’t Al Michaels great? But it’s not the “Miracles” line that I love most about him. It’s how every football game he broadcasts, he always finds a way to tell you when the winning team covers the spread. And he does it without directly mentioning the official spread since the NFL and NBC would prefer to pretend that no one bets on these games. But I digress) How many ways can you hear Jim Nantz describe a six foot putt as “special” until it no longer feels special.
I’m speaking of career defining moments. That brief moment of time that the casual fan and maybe every diehard fan will always think of when that particular athletes name comes up. We probably saw four of these types of moments in the last couple of weeks. Three of them by guys with the last names of Bryant, Garnett and Pierce, and a golfer named Woods. You’ll get a blast of NBA talk in another post so, I’m going to focus on El Tigre.:
How do you measure greatness? I can’t quantify that anymore than I can figure out someone’s QB rating in football. I do know this, Tiger is great. Phenomenal might be a better word and if I could point any sort of weakness it was that I’d always thought he was a front runner type; would play well with a lead but never seemed to stalk someone down from behind. I don’t mean that as a knock by any means, just his style. I’d also always felt that greatness is a relative thing as well. Great players are defined as much by the people they face in their primes as their own personal talents. Magic had Bird. Or Bird had Magic depending on what side of the country you lived on. Russell had Chamberlin. McEnroe had Connors. Tom had Jerry. White Spy had Black Spy, you get my drift. My point is, I don’t think Tiger has seen many challengers on any consistent basis since he started playing the tour. Arnie had Hogan. Jack had Arnie. But is Mickelson really a threat to Tiger? It certainly doesn’t feel that way. It’s hard to say you have an equal on the Tour when your caddie is tenth on the money list. So even though Tiger is probably the greatest golfer on the planet, Doesn’t it feel like we’re missing something without a Tom Watson type out there to really push Tiger to new levels? If Tiger is GI Joe, we’re missing a Cobra Commander.
Now Muhammad Ali had his nemesis in Joe Frazier. Joe Frazier was a lunch pail type, Ali was Le Cirque. When they fought it was more than a boxing match,It was an event not to be missed. Ali and Frazier hated each other. At least Frazier hated Ali. It was hard to tell if it was showmanship or genuine dislike on Ali’s part. Their fight was about more then who got to call themselves the champ. In the minds of Americans, Ali represented the people against the war and Frazier was the establishment. Neither label was entirely accurate but that’s life. They fought for the “Championship of each other” and that was a special moment.

That’s what made Father’s day (and the ensuing 19hole playoff) at Torrey Pines so special. Rocco played Tiger even, gave as good as he got. Didn’t back down and stood toe to toe with the champ. Just like Frazier. Now golf is a different sport, not violent like boxing or as fast paced. But both are sports built around the individual and singular accomplishment. It took Tiger 91 holes but time and time again he made the shots he needed to stay in the fight. He eventually finished off Rocco to claim his 14th major but that’s hardly what mattered. It was how Rocco fought him and gave him everything he had. Rocco didn’t back down and didn’t wilt under the spotlight like so many before him. There were too many pressure packed moments to recount all of them. But I can tell you this, it wasn’t like they guys were playing a $5 Nassau out there. The winner took home $1.3mil and second prize was $800k. ( not exactly a set of steak knives.) Now you can’t call Tiger a frontrunner anymore. He needed a birdie at the 72nd hole to extend and a birdie at the 90th to extend again. At that’s my main point. Few people in golf have ever been able to honestly say, “I gave it everything I had out there. “. In the end both players came out better off. Tiger was finally challenged on the back nine of a major, and Rocco showed he can still compete with the best in the world.
One thing I haven’t even mentioned is the status of Tiger’s knee all week. I’ve got torn cartilage in my own knee and when it rains my knees ache. But I don’t think that compares with a torn ACL in his knee AND two stress fractures? Was it stupid? maybe Reckless even? Sure. But at least we can’t question his heart, determination, and tolerance for pain. Now he’s going to get surgery, and rehab his knee properly. He’ll be back for the 2009 golf season and I for one am hoping someone can step up and play with Tiger consistently, because in the end we all win.
His caddie get some much needed time off too. He’s going to lose his Caddie’s tan. But that’s life.

Dickie Dunn

"If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it's gotta be true.